A woman's place

...is where exactly?

In Amish America, the primary role of the woman as homemaker has held steady for generations.  But there have been signs in recent years and decades that that may be changing, if ever so slightly.

Typically, young Amish girls and women work until marriage.  They are schoolteachers, waitresses, or hired hands in English and Amish homes.  In recent years, however, they have increasingly been stepping into 'male' roles.

A significant portion of single women hold factory jobs in the large settlements of northern Indiana, laboring on RV assembly lines next to male counterparts.  Furniture shops employ young women, and not just in secretarial or bookkeeping roles--a number of finishing shop owners recently shared with me that they prefer young girls for the job of applying the final coating to finished pieces, citing an eye for detail and methodical nature as two benefits of female help.

 

But female employment can be tricky when it comes to turnover.  An Ohio wholesale business owner friend joked: 'one thing I've learned, you can't get 'em to sign a contract not to marry, not to have children, okay?'  Funny, but that is the reality.  Marriage and home duties usually end employment for most girls.

But it is not unheard of for Amish women to hold jobs even after marriage and kids.  One of my waitresses at the local diner in Goshen, Indiana was mother to two toddlers, picking up part time shifts once or twice a week.  Others, especially those with smaller families, will take on part-time or even full-time jobs.

Lancaster County, especially, has seen a number of women in the business-owner's role, either partnering with husbands or running their own--even employing a husband as help, as Kraybill and Nolt reveal in Amish Enterprise.  Pretzel shops, produce stands, and quilt stores are all businesses that Amish women run successfully today.

In The Truth in Word and Work, subtitled A Statement of Faith By Ministers and Brethren of Amish Churches of Holmes Co., Ohio, and Related Areas, the male/female issue is addressed.  'The husband has the major responsibility of directing the home for the glory of Christ.  He needs to have the proper relationship with Christ in submission and self-denial to glorify his Head.  He is the God-delegated authority over the woman and is responsible for her actions in the home and in society.'

Modern readers may scream 'sexist' at this sort of stuff, but after all, the Amish are Biblical fundamentalists in the purest sense of the term, and keeping that in mind, this shouldn't surprise.

In practice, however, the woman takes a very active role in the Amish home, and men will often consult with and even defer to their wives' wishes in many decisions concerning purchases and the home.  A good wife who runs a home well is highly respected.  Though the Amish woman cannot hold church office, she has equal voting rights in selecting new ministry and is able to voice her concerns before the church just as any man can.

The man as the head of the home--that idea makes feminists' skin crawl.  But let's be real about it.  In a number of Middle Eastern nations, the law sees the woman's worth as half that of a man's, after all.  Now that is something to be up in arms over.

Comments

[Dave Carrig]

From what I have seen, the Amish marriage is as much a partnership as it is a relationship.

I have on many occasions seen women out in the fields working teams of horses as the men do. I've also seen entire families out working the fields with the women doing as much of the grunt work as the men do.

The issue that ticks feminists off is the issue of spiritual headship as laid out in scripture - but this is not strictly an Amish practice. Many conservative protestant churches (including mine) adhere to this as laid out in scripture.

The Amish take it a level higher with their practice of head covering which is supposed to be a sign of submission. I suppose femenists don't like that either.

[michelle]

Spiritual headship is a big sticking point with feminists. I am all for spiritual headship and believe the man is the head of the home. Doesn't mean my husband and I don't share the household duties, it just means he is the head of the home! I think it makes for a much more peaceful and pleasant marriage then two people wanting to be boss of the home and bickering over it!

[Amish America]

It seems to work pretty well in practice in these Amish homes... partnership is probably a good description of it Dave...and Michelle you make a good point...of course as a male I can be accused of being in a convenient position to say that!

On the other hand, I can see how the idea may be abused by some, and in practice I imagine that it is.

One of the most heartbreaking things I've ever heard was when an Amish mother told me something to the effect of 'my husband says I'm not smart enough to make my own decisions...' and by her tone you could tell she sort of accepted that as the reality.

[Bill]

A small handwritten sign above the door inside a furniture makers shop near Smicksburg reads, "If more men were self starters less women would be cranks". :)

[Amish America]

Hear, hear (:

[Chuck]

I've really enjoyed reading through Amish America.

While never a member myself, my family background is Mennonite Brethren and the stories you've related here shed some light on the culture in which my parents were raised.

As to the head of the household issue, my father was clearly the head of our home as scripture directed, but we never doubted that in all matters of any consequence Mom was his equal. I don't believe he ever made a significant decision without consulting her and often deferred to her wishes and against his own.

Thanks for your work on the blog. It's become my favorite on-line reading.

Doug

[Amish America]

Thank you and welcome Doug! (though your tagline says Chuck?) I appreciate that alot! Doing this blog is a great pleasure and I try to stick to my mission statement of presenting the Amish accurately and respectfully, and trying to be entertaining at the same time, though I imagine I succeed more at the first part of that endeavor than the second...

I'd bet your example from growing up holds true for many households, Amish, Mennonite, non-Amish alike.

[Adam]

Are they, (the Amish men) acting as "Biblical Fundamentalists" when they are molesting and raping their daughters? What God is it that they worship that allows these 'gentle', simple folk to go on acting in such an unethical and disgusting manner without due and just recourse under the Law of the United States of America? The insular-isolationist nature of their community has proven time and again, that it has done nothing more than spawn a thin disguise for the breeding grounds of pedophilia, and all other types of wife abuse. This is and was NOT the fundamental beliefs under which Joesph Amman founded the very first Amish community.

[Adam]

Are they, (the Amish men) acting as "Biblical Fundamentalists" when they are molesting and raping their daughters? What God is it that they worship that allows these 'gentle', simple folk to go on acting in such an unethical and disgusting manner without due and just recourse under the Law of the United States of America? The insular-isolationist nature of their community has proven time and again, that it has done nothing more than spawn a thin disguise for the breeding grounds of pedophilia, and all other types of wife abuse. This is and was NOT the fundamental beliefs under which Joesph Amman founded the very first Amish community.

[Mary]

To say that an Amish couple is equal is not really the truth. Yes, indeed the women work in the fields, but rarely does one see a man work in the kitchen, though there are exceptions. Rarely have I seen an Amish man help his wife when he comes in from the field. He puts up his feet and reads. I lived the Amish life style for almost 50 years and I never considered my dad as abusive, but neither do I remember him carrying his own plate from the table to the sink. In all my days he washed dishes twice, he never made a meal to my knowledge. However, I remember Mom working in the fields and working in the barn, not to mention that I did lots of work in the fields. But when women get to the house they will prepare the meal while he puts up his feet. The women can vote in the church -- that's true, but they had better say yes even if it means lying about it. How do I know -- been there done that.

Sspiritual leadership is great -- that's the way it should be, but I think we need describe "leadership." For a lot of the men it means that his wife has to be obedient to him and live by his convictions, not her own. That doesn't mean he never confers with her, he does, but he will force her to fit in his "mold."

[Amish America]

Mary thanks for pointing this out about the division of labor. I'm thinking back to my recent stay with a couple of families in Lancaster County. It's true that mom did most of the kitchen work in both cases...and that would probably be the norm in the vast majority of Amish homes. It's probably not easy when you're eight months pregnant, either.

I hate to be nosy but I find myself wondering what community you grew up in..?

I don't doubt the assertion you make in the last paragraph about women being subservient to men...but as members of an Amish church, shouldn't their convictions be closely aligned anyway? I am not exactly certain what you are referring to--church issues perhaps?

As I tend to mention a lot, I think there is variety within Amish society, and it's true there is probably a large amount of women that are 'fully subservient' to their husbands or somewhere close to it...but I've also seen a number of cases where the man does take the woman's wishes into careful consideration, or where she even wins out--and granted, this may be in more minor matters, but I think it shows that not all Amish men are rigid about imposing their will on all aspects of life. Perhaps it's more common among younger generations, or those families that have more interaction with outsiders (such as business owners, for example).

[Jennette]

My husband and I attended part of an Amish wedding today. After the ceremony, taking 4 to 5 hours, the newly married couple and 2 other couples, walked up the road to the bride's mother's home. All the women walked several paces behind the men. Another perfect example of second-place citizenship.